Kebelakangan ni dh jd minggu apply biasiswa buat aku....
And sambil apply2 ni,
Byklha perbincangan yg berlaku..
Basically about
" nak apply apa ni? "
"U mana yg best?"
"Course apa yg bagus?"
"Yg jamin masa depan?"
"Yg dpat gaji byk?"
"Biasiswa apa yg dh open?"
"Biasiswa tu offer untuk course apa?"
Dan mcm2 lg lha....
Smpaikn rmai terfikir,
Dpat straight A ni lg menyusahkan dari menyenangkan....
Waktu UPSR dulu,
Dpat straight A,
Takyah fikir apa2,
Cuma try apply asrama je,
Tp nanti blajar,
Sama je,
So tak tensyen sgt...
Form1 form2,
Blaja main2,
Bru habis big exam kan?
Mesti nak rileks dulu..
Mmg form 3 ada PMR,
Tp, fikir lambat lg..
So rileks je la...
Masuk form 3,
Baru start blaja serious skit...
Sambil tu dpat pendedahan,
After PMR boleh pilih course,
Sma ada arts takpun science...
Klau nak jd doktor/engineer,
Wajib science stream,
Tp science stream hnya utk yg dpt score PMR..
That was the time yg started evrything..
Since time tu, I still havent decided what I wanted to be when I grow up...
Tp people around me kept on pushing me to go to science stream..
"Peluang banyak"
"Kerja bagus"
"Boleh pilih apa2 kerja"
"Arts stream utk budak2 kurang cerdik je"
Was some of the reasons I was told to go to science stream..
And with that mentality,
I studied hard..
And Alhamdulillah,
I got 7A 1B..
Which was good enough to enter science stream...
Waktu form 4,
Ada je my friends yg tukar dr science stream to accounting,
But I thought,
"Takde bezanya, kan?"
So I continued on science stream..
With people telling me to study hard,
SPM is for my future,
SPM bagus, boleh apply apa2 ja...
SPM bagus, biasiswa senang dpt...
With all the same reasons,
I was still pressured to study well...
Then dapat masuk sekolah sains,
Lagi lha high pressure, kn?
Sekolah sains utk budak2 pandai ja...
So, i was inclinedto prove,
That I was worthy of the school...
So I studied,
And studied,
And studied...
Until my SPM results came out,
I got 9A's....
So, this is it, right?
I can be anything I want?
I can apply for anything?
My road is open wide?
Wrong.
With this result,
You are expected to be a doctor,
Or an engineer,
Or a scientist..
Choosing to be a teacher,
Or an artist,
Or open up a cafe,
Is considered 'wasteful of your talent'...
"Oh, you still can choose other courses...
No, not Psychology...
You wont get good jobs...
Eventhough it is your passion"
So, there goes my dreams...
I cant be a Psychologist, because I wont get a good job...
I cant be a Teacher, because it is a waste of talent...
I can only be what society wants me to be,
What society thinks I should choose..
What society'thinks' I deserve...
Not what I want to be,
Not what I have passion in,
Not what I think I deserve..
Apparently, society knows me better than myself...
So, if this is what getting good grades bring,
What was the point of me studying?
If all the promises I was told,
Was all damn lies?
Where is the "you can be anything you want" ?
When people say,
Lucky you, you can choose anything,
In my heart i say,
Its not true...
Getting good grades narrows down my choice greatly....
Atleast,
If my grades werent that good,
Im able to scope it down according to entry requirements..
So now,
A couple of friends and I,
All we can do now is bury our unattainable dreams,
And follow society's choice for us...
The quote
"Choose a job you like, and it would be your hobby"
Drifting far away,
As we choose jobs that we have to bear through...
My mom keeps on telling me,
To take oil and gas,
I said no,
Saying that i dont want to work in the middle of the seas,
Or in the middle of nowhere...
Saying that it would be boring...
She said
You work there, save up your money, and when you go to KL, have fun with your mountain of cash...
But really, what I mean when I say boring, is the job itself...
I know nothing about oil and gas,
I dont find it thrilling,
And I couldnt care less about the heaps of money I'll get...
Im able to tolerate mech. Engineering,
Because there is a chance Icould work on things I like,
Such as gadgets or such...
But not in oil and gas...
But mother keeps on insisting about it,
Eventhough shehad said once,
You choose your future yourself...
So, getting straight A's is not what we have thought it would be..
Unless for those who are already clear on what they want to be...
But for us, who are still unclear..
Our road is still far ahead....
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